I bribed myself to sit down to write.
Yes, bribed. With a (homemade) pumpkin spice coconut latte. And it doesn’t even taste good.
For the past week, I haven’t felt like writing.
I write in obedience to God’s call to encourage moms to cultivate restful hearts in the midst of busy days by drawing close to Jesus.
I committed to a 31 day series of planting seeds of rest. The first thirteen days were great. But in the past sixteen, I have only posted three times.
And I just don’t want to.
Yes, some true hardships are part of the problem.
My stolen laptop means I lost pre-written seeds of rest. It also means I lost my physical writing space that promotes my mental writing space.
My chronic illness has flared up. Physical symptoms leave me weary and affect my mind and emotions.
My family is still settling back into routine after vacation. In addition to washing post-trip laundry, we’re also dealing with insurance claims and replacement purchases.
But honestly, I just don’t want to do what I know I’m supposed to do.
I’m not writing. I’m neglecting important communication for my ministry. I’m not getting back on track as homeschool teacher. I’m avoiding scheduling appointments. I have only cooked one meal in ten days of being home.
I only made it to day 13 of 31.
I’m tired. I’m hearing lies of failure. I’m wrestling the overwhelm of too much to do. I feel the pull to dance with depression. I default to doing nothing.
My heart is not at rest.
At this point, I can hear my mom chastising me for being so negative about myself. Why would I be so negative to such a public audience?
I’m choosing to be vulnerable.
Sounding so negative is part of being honest about where I am right now.
I won’t stay in this place forever. My autoimmune flare will wear off. The hassle of stolen items will end. We will resume our rhythm of normal days.
But I’m not there yet, and I want you to know you’re not alone.
- If you are weary of fighting the depression, you are not alone.
- If you are tempted to believe you are failing as mom, you are not alone.
- If you are overwhelmed and ready to quit, you are not alone.
- If you are exhausted from your chronic illness, you are not alone.
This is why we need each other!
“Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.”
I Thessalonians 5:11
I am confident you are already encouraging the people in your personal circles.
But do you let them know when you need encouragement?
I wonder if it is possible for a mom to have a restful heart on her own. We were made to be in community with one another. We were made for relationships. We were made to be encouraged.
So it seems a restful heart will, in part, come through community.
Being vulnerable about our struggles just might prove to be a seed of encouragement that fosters a restful heart.
Today’s Seed of Rest
Take the vulnerability risk.
Tell a friend one way you are struggling today. In person, call, email, text.
Receive the encouragement they offer.