Please pardon my absence from the past few days. Life has been hard.
My bucket list item is checked off: Alberquerque Hot Air Balloon Fiesta.
But my heart is hurting.
Last week’s Seeds of Rest posts were written before we left for vacation and scheduled to post automatically. I wrote several while driving throughout New Mexico. But with 17 family members, late nights, people to feed, I never remembered to post them when I had internet service.
And now, my words have been stolen.
We stopped for lunch on our way to the airport to return home. While we were enjoying our fajitas and sopapillas, our van was broken into. They stole tons from us. Expensive. Sentimental. Practical. Tons.
Including my laptop with several Seeds of Rest ready to share with you.
I remember the highlights:
- Give Yourself Grace
- Go To Bed
- Just Breathe
- Transfer Your Expectations
But I need some time to recover the details in my mind before I can share them.
(edited: links added after re-writing the stolen posts)
Right now, I’m asking myself:
How can I rest in the midst of crisis?
I’m defiantly attempting to take my thoughts captive (more effectively in some moments than others). I’m hanging onto hope as I command my captive mind to direct my heart. I’m repeating a few refrains to myself:
- Stay strong in the right moments. Take the kids to the park while the guys deal with the police detective. Find water and bathrooms. Buy sippy cups and plane activities for the little ones. Get 17 toothbrushes from the hotel desk.
- Cry and cry to release the grief. But don’t stay too strong. Allow the kids to see you grieve so they know their feelings of hurt and anger are ok. When you finally stop doing and sit on the plane, just sob.
- Hang on to perspective. Remember that fatal wreck we saw on the interstate. Breathe a prayer of thanks that all my people are going home together.
- Get back up and keep going. Cry. Grieve the loss. Cry again. Then take a step and do the next thing.
- Bless the Lord, oh my soul. Right now, I command myself to keep singing my song in the night.
This is about far more than losing stuff. The theft has multiplied the grief of losing my mom eight months ago.
So I need a few days to rest.
Please pray for my family as we process the loss and the accompanying grief. Please pray for the thieves that they receive salvation. Please pray that God somehow receives glory through the situation.
We’ll eventually get to 31 seeds.
Trust me, I need them. So I will write them. For now, thank you for your grace as my heart needs some space to rest.